6. A New Home

The 1997-1998 school year began like any other. The first two years in Colstrip were a little difficult for me. When I had interviewed, it was primarily for the high school position, but a number of things happened and I ended up in the K-2 Elementary as the Guidance counselor there. Now, to this point, my K-2 experience was physical education. This was tough. Along with teaching guidance classes, working with these young kids, and numerous recess duties, I was again a bit stressed. I was not real fond of my job. The one good thing was I did work with a number of very nice people who helped me along.

I also began coaching football again. I was pretty happy. The first year was rough here as well as I learned the system, the kids, the other coaches. I coached the freshmen and sophomore team. We did pretty well, though there were numerous personality conflicts with several of the players. I managed, but was down, and had another bought of depression. Part of it was seasonal as well. In December, I was not feeling to well, and back to worrying again. I muddled through, the doctors changed the medicines, and some good friends and my family pulled me out.

I completed my sixth year of coaching football this fall. I am not the Special Teams coach for the varsity, the hear line coach on offense and defense, and call the offense for the Junior Varsity team. I am also the assistant track coach, and this year will be my sixth there as well. I have been coaching sprints, hurdles and relays. I struggled at the hurdles for awhile, but was fortunate to have a coach hurdler that first year who helped me a lot as well (thanks Dana), and lots of coaching clinics paid off. I actually have other coaches and athletes ask me advice on the hurdles now. There has been a lot of success as well. In football, we have gone to the playoffs four of the six years, and just missed this year. In track the girls teams won state championships the first two years I was at Colstrip, and our boys have won the last three state championships. I have coached numerous individual state champions in my event areas.

We (our family) also had another surprise - Caleb Josiah Lewis. He followed the same path as Nathan, refusing to turn, and when Carol started labor, the doctors decided to do a C section. Again, I could not go into the O.R. (some things never change). When Caleb was brought out I knew things were not to good. His little chest was heaving badly. I didn't get to hold him. Within 30 minutes or so he was moved to ICU, and had to be put on a respirator (one lung did not inflate). He spent 10 days there, but turned and recovered quickly (just like the doctors told us he would). Those folks in ICU were wonderful! Today, all four children are as healthy as can be (Thank God!).

I have learned to deal with the pressure and anxiety much better. I do not put as much pressure on myself anymore, and I spend a lot of "me" time. I also "spend" money on me as well. I buy a few toys and try to enjoy life more. There are of course still days.

I have also grown a lot spiritually. I have always "felt" like I believed in God, but questioned a lot of things. Maybe science is right and when we die we just become dust again. That's it - over. That feeling was/is one reason why my phobia and anxiety of death is sometimes so overwhelming. I don't think I am "born again" but my faith has made a difference. I think that is a story for another time. I just want to say it has (and would with the coming crisis) make a huge difference.

For the last four years I have worked at the High School. I am much more comfortable here and work seems to go much better. Every now and then we have a major crisis (suicides prevention, etc) which raises the stress levels, but for the most part the job is great. 

I also began a new hobby that helped immensely. At first, I bought cassette tapes of relaxation music. I especially enjoyed the Native American flute music. Soon I found the better flute players, like Douglass Spotted Eagle and began buying more music. I also discovered eBay (much to the dismay of my wife). In searching for cd's, I ran across a flute kit. A flute that was made, but needed to be sanded and painted. I bought it and like it. I then bought a flute kit, where you had to glue the wood, and shape, paint and decorate it. Cool - I can do this. So off to the garage and the school wood shop I went and began experimenting. I searched everywhere for information (flute making is a closely guarded secret). I made flutes, threw a lot of them away, and kept trying. Today I have made over 360 flutes (ones good enough to play). I sell them and give them away, and have become a flute player. It has become a major part of my life.

Last spring (April 2002), things began to take another step backwards.  I had gone to the doctor because of blood in my stool. I had seen the doctor (Dr. Hurd, a surgeon, who I have come to like and respect at the highest levels) before due to another legacy of my bought with cancer - hemorrhoids. Such a lovely topic. On this return visit, he checked some things and decided I should have a colonoscopy to make sure there was nothing else going on. Looking back, I think the good doctor knew right then what was up. I was in denial. My colonoscopy was scheduled for early June, but I had to reschedule (I wanted to go with the team to a team football camp in early June). I continued to focus on it just being the hemorrhoids - but deep inside I knew it was different. Somehow I knew...and on June 25th I found out...